"Do you have to open graves to find girls to fall in love with?"
"The phone is dead. Do you hear that, Vitus? Even the phone is dead."
"There's nothing in the world I wouldn't give for that. Yes, I would give even my soul for it."
"We medicals have a better way than that. When we dislike a friend of ours, we dissect him."
"Let's let our friend here rest in peace...while he can."
"What did he do to make this house so evil, Mr. Fischer?"
"We have to convince the little housewife out there that the tomato that ate the family pet is not dangerous!"
"Without me, Transylvania will be as exciting as Bucharest...on a Monday night."
"I will not be threatened by a walking meat loaf!"
"Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sid would go out with me?"
"I'm here to kick ass and chew gum, and I'm all out of bubblegum."
"That cold ain't the weather, that's death approaching."
"Good, bad, I'm the one with the gun. Come git some!"
"No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering."
"It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare."
"It's alive, it's moving, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!"
“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
“Smile, you son of a bitch!”
“I'd say I'm a pretty darn good father. My father tried to eat me, I don't remember trying to eat Timmy.”
"I've seen enough horror movies to know that any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly."